This seemed like it would be really quick to make in Flash, and I was right.

You're probably thinking this is a squirrel, but if you thought so, then you're WRONG!!

This thing is, in fact, a Sql Server. (pronounced "squill server")

You use them to keep the internets alive.

sqls are a race of beings that have the ability to convert the precious resource Win and Gold into the specific energy that powers websites. They are extremely peaceful and trusting creatures, almost to the extent that they can appear stupid. They have no means to defend themselves either, and will blissfully allow total strangers to pick them up and abduct them without a complaint. Because of this, if you need to power a website, you can just go and find a "free" or "wild" sql and grab it. Provided it's taken care of, fed, watered, and given plenty of space to run around, sqls will except their roles as website servers quite easily. Free sqls that mindlessly wander into any large city looking for lulz or new sights will often find themselves working as a server before they even have a chance to ask for directions.

Seeing as using sqls is the only way to keep the internets alive, nobody makes a deal about their rights or the inhumanity of capturing them, and since the sqls themselves never complain, all's rosy.

Sqls that have been used as servers can be identified by the internet collar around their necks and a small ID tag that's usually tied to one of their tentacle-like limbs.

Handling a sql is like picking up a furry snake with limbs. Their bodies are extremely flexible and gummy, as they are made mostly of muscle and cartilage, and every part of their limbs can bend, giving them somewhat worm-like movements. The bigger a sql's tail or the more physically built it is, the more bandwidth it can manage. Thin, lean sqls with large tails are more sought after than beefy servers who require more money to maintain.

Hickory is the Firewall Command's newest server. He is a lean, healthy sql with a soft orange coat and a decently sized tail. In order to keep his performance levels up, Hickory is pampered by the Firewall command, and is even allowed to wander outside his synthesized environment and wander the Net sometimes. Of course, since the Firewall Command is basically the enemy of every hacker, spammer and virus on the net, Hickory is very vulnerable and needs to be escorted by the DFH wherever he goes. In a way, he's sort of like the "princess" character that always needs rescuing.

Despite having NO real natural offensive qualities, sqls CAN fight back if they really feel the need to. Their whippy limbs can deliver some nasty slaps and they are very agile and speedy, and in the right environment, they can levitate. But despite this, their power is totally fail.

EDIT: forgot something: Servers exist to maintain the flow of traffic in and out of a website. A sql can do this without thinking of it, but will lose a tiny bit of energy whenever someone enters a site. If you stand in the entrance to a website and walk in and out of it repeatedly (mash F5) it will cause HARSH PHYSICAL DISTRESS to the sql, and may even cause it to crash or die, so don't do it or you're a jerk.

DFH and all related characters (C) Ryanide 2006-7.